defeat
Village People give ‘Chels a proper seeing to…
New opposition for the ‘Chels today was uncovered by an EP-Newbod attack on the FA’s Observer’s Book of Aged Football Teams. Today’s offering was the Village Vets – although the village in question was unspecified, judging by the look of one or two of them it might have been Royston Vasey where they apparently have a local team for local people.
Perky Popes pinch record
When a waiter delivering champagne to George Best’s hotel room saw thousands of pounds of casino winnings on the bed and a scantily-clad Miss World lolling beside the bundles of notes, he famously asked the question: “Mr Best, where did it all go wrong?”
That same waiter asked the very same question of today’s game as [...]
Ghoul-hungry Brentham spook the ‘Chels
Hallowe’een is the time of when kids go round asking “Trick or Treat?” Well the ghoulish, ghostly, zombiefied ‘Chels did exactly the same to Brentham, offering them tricks (from the boots of Master of the Dark Arts VoldeMort), or treats in the shape of soft goals.
‘Chels turn the heat up – but one chip is all they get!
In a week that saw Wayne Rooney say he would never play for Manchester United again, only to return to the fold and sign a new five-year contract, Kenchels’ very own cabbage-faced bruiser also returned. Welcome back Stevie B!
‘Chels overdrawn at the Bank…
And so, dear readers, I pick up the pen once more. As I sit here, my quivering quill poised like that of a latter-day Dot-soievsky over a blank sheet of paper, it is hard to imagine that the last time I wrote to you was before Christmas. Our erratic season has, I am afraid, lurched ever more anarchically into 2010.
