Nicknames: Kev, more recently Fat Gav, Fat Kev (even though no new Kev has joined the team), MBA Prat, Dick Cheney, LVP. Also responds to Kevin Gallan or Youth Policy.
Preferred position: Jan Molby circle but in the opponents’ box
Actual position: Jan Molby circle but in the opponents’ box, due to a medical condition called burger-and-chips syndrome
First season: 2003-4
First tour: Boston, 2001
Why the Kenchels? To use my average 20-year youth advantage to look
half-decent and humiliate the old geezers I play with. Can’t say it’s working yet, though!
Best Chels moment: Stitching up Lefty Morgan in Riga with pay-per-view…arf, arf!
Worst Chels moment: Being the only other person there when Dumbski tells Lefty about the joke – oh yeah, and the mystery illness that I succumbed to in Krakow after 43 lagers the night before…
Pre match ritual: Chauffeur-driven service to the game; pre-match
kick about in the changing room
After match ritual: Eating ALL the sausages and chips in the bar; telling Dotden what actually happened in the game he had just witnessed
Most likely to say: I’m the Vice President but you can call me Dick…
Least likely to say: Make mine a diet…
Ambition: All ambitions bar one have been achieved; golden boot winner, 100 caps, LVP whilst scoring a goal every two games – oh, yeah – and the MBA!
