Fixtures & results
‘Chels guilty of a criminal performance
A policeman’s lot is generally not a happy one but there was at least one copper smiling after this shambolic Kenchels’ performance. Yes, our opposition included no less a figure than Chief Superintendent Knacker himself, who played a small but nonetheless entertaining part in our defeat. More of that later.
The game saw the return of [...]
‘Chels overdrawn at the Bank…
And so, dear readers, I pick up the pen once more. As I sit here, my quivering quill poised like that of a latter-day Dot-soievsky over a blank sheet of paper, it is hard to imagine that the last time I wrote to you was before Christmas. Our erratic season has, I am afraid, lurched ever more anarchically into 2010.
‘Chels go missing in action…
This report is dedicated to the memory of El Tel Bellamy, our former right-back, who is as I write huddled in the bowels of the Hanoi Hilton on what was to have been the dream holiday of a lifetime. As he delves through his three-week-old plate of boiled rice and cockroaches, I’m sure he is missing us all terribly.
A game to remember…
How very fitting that on Remembrance Sunday, we should have our very own Mr Memory reffing the game. Yes, ‘Pierluigi Newbods’ was in charge for the first half and had EP fretting even before we kicked off. Our leader had visions of the two-minutes’ silence on the centre-circle over-running by 88 minutes, with Newbs forgetting to blow his whistle to end it and possibly adding extra-time!
What a blowout – ‘Chels whither in bad weather
The last time I saw weather like this, I was in a cinema watching The Day After Tomorrow: howling gale, a torrential downpour and a tidal wave of goals that put the poor old ‘Chels to shame. The temperature seemed to drop dramatically from the moment we kicked off, leaving us frozen to the spot for much of the game. If a stranded oil tanker had floated up the nearby River Brent, I would not have been surprised.
