2011-12 Season

‘Chels bounce back and that’s a fact

Your intrepid match reporter El Tel is back form trekking in the Patagonian wilderness, a trip that incorporated two days in Buenos Aires where he visited the Boca Juniors stadium. This pretty, compact stadium is known locally as La Bombonera which translates as The Chocolate Box. If the ‘Chels had a similar stadium, no doubt given the gluttonous nature of certain players (no names, no pack drill – you know who you are) it would be known as The Empty Chocolate Box.

This match report is being written by El Tel despite the admirable efforts in his absence by Alex and Stevie B, who confided his match report took him all day to write. That’s what happens when you are taught to write by medieval monks.

Everytime El Tel asked a team mate if he wanted to write this week’s report a voice came from the opposition dressing room….”He doesn’t wannit!”

To the game – despite playing some quality possession football ‘Chels went in at half-time two goals down. Fact. Both goals came against the run of play and were the results of our own mistakes. Fact. The first when a misplaced pass from an un-named midfield player was seized upon by NPL. Fact. The second when an un-named centre back tried to play football instead of lumping the ball into touch. Fact.

At half-time EP had five substitutes to bring on. Fact. A positive feast after last weeks famine – and the changes plus a blast of the old hairdryer had the ‘Chels on the attack and pulling back the two goals very early doors. Fact.

But then, as the Bee Gees have it ‘Tragedy’. NPL got another from an unchallenged header. Fact.

It took all of ‘Chels battling spirit to pull that back and slowly grab the game as the opposition’s ageing veterans wilted. Three quick goals made the score 6-3 and NPL were totally fact.

Goals were by the new Tom who got a hat-trick, missed a sitter and also missed the fact that he had scored a third – a devious ploy to beat the post match hat trick first round.

Phil, the new Alex, got two and Mo, the new Mo got one. As we now have Big Mo and Little Mo EP only needs to sign three more Mos and we will have five guys named Mo – cue for a song methinks.

PS: That’s enough facts. Ed.

 

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