2009-10 Season

‘Chels fall victim to criminal stupidity…

Kenchels FC 2 Popes Grove 2 ⋅HT: 1-0 ⋅ Cliff, Jake ⋅Venue: Civil Service Sports Ground, Chiswick

By Dotden ⋅ October 12, 2009 ⋅  Print This Post ⋅ 6 comments ⋅ Post a comment

In a callous and appalling  incident yesterday, a bunch of elderly gentlemen were mugged and left for dead, their egos battered and bruised and their self-respect a dim and distant memory.

The victims were the dear old ‘Chels, who collapsed in a heap after two last-minute goals from the Popes that clinched them a draw and left us bereft of the victory we so sorely needed. We wuz mugged and our villainous opponents are – I hear – changing their strip next season for stripey black and white shirts and facemasks.

I might have known something like this would happen. After all, the Popes’ kitbag did have ‘Swag’ written on it in great big letters and I’m sure I caught a glimpse of a couple of crowbars lurking within. But as we kicked off in the bright October sunshine, it really looked as if the ‘Chels were going to get that second win of the season under their belt.

We started well and were cruising easily in and out of their half. The Popes spent most of the half banged up inside their own penalty area – so much so that Dave ‘Fingers’ Goodheart spent most of his half down the road in Starbucks reading the Sunday papers.

There was a touch of daylight robbery about our opening goal. From 25 yards out Cliff put in a perfectly aimed cross  – sorry, shot – that floated beautifully over the keeper and into the back of the next. At that point, it looked as if we could count on scoring quite a few more – but the plethora of goals never came.

Instead we settled down to a pattern that saw us dominate maybe 60-70 percent of possession but failing to create that many clear chances. At half-time, the erudite Jake swapped his ref’s whistle to come on while the more – er – concise, Wayne took on reffing duties. Euan swapped for MK Power and I came on for Tommy T.

The second half was more of the same. Popes barely had a shot on goal. Alex hit the bar once and Jake just failed to connect his bonce to a well-aimed Stevie B corner.

We finally nicked a second when Jake – our very own gentleman burglar – volleyed from close range from an Alex (I think it was Alex) cross. Hurrah for us. With no more than ten minutes to go, the Popes couldn’t possibly come back, could they? Think again.

As the ‘Chels took their foot off the pedal and with no more than two minutes to play, the Popes’ crept up the left wing in their hoodies and a move that started with a throw-in ended with them somehow – don’t ask me how – jemmying the  the ball in at our near post. Criminal, yes, that’s what it was – our defending I mean.

Still we had the one goal cushion, right? And only a minute to play now, right? Yeah, but the Popes gander was up  and they were singing to themselves – You Gotta Pick a Pocket or Two, Boys…da dah dah.

Tell the world you love the 'Chels!

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