2008-9 Season
Kenchels admit – there’s no beating Beer!
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The annual fixture versus the always strong Beer and Lager XI is one to be savoured – literally. EP had gone for a solid line-up but when the whistle went found he only had himself and Newbod to face the onslaught of two pints of London Pride.
They were quickly joined by El Tel who mopped up the odd bottle of Sol whenever Beer and Lager threatened. In quick succession Dotden, a great asset to the squad with his huge capacity for hard drinking, was followed by Mo and Arif. This pair contributed nothing in facing the mighty foe but did provide most of the humour and laughs along the way.
After an early flurry in the Rose and Crown, the game moved quickly on to the very gay New Inn, where EP and Newbod in their Brokeback Mountain kit felt very much at home.
The evening matured in the Red Lion where Newbod drunkenly declared everyone had to speak a foreign language. Whilse the majority opted for French, he himself elected to talk bollicks so no change there then!
A strange alien being (known as Mr Wik) had been recruited by EP to join the squad and he turned out in the second half to apply some logic to the situation – a plan that went strangely wrong as Beer and Lager brought out their secret weapon – hallucinations.
The Chels were momentarily floored by the apparition of an all-girl Mormon, guitar-wielding choir. Arif to the rescue with a few well-chosen, smooth chat up lines and they quickly legged-it.
On to the Grange where B&L played another strong card in the shape of a drunken Aussie bird who almost got through our defence only to be tackled in the box by Newbod after his fake moustache tickled her fancy…and El Tel wondered if she took it up the Gary Glitter and wigged up accordingly. She didn’t!!
The final few minutes of this tense encounter were played out in the curry house where B&L employed their big guns – large bottles of Cobra – these finally proved too strong for the Chels who conceded defeat after a gallant and hard-fought battle.
Still – there’s always next year when a more numerous Chels squad could well be in with a fighting chance!
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