2008-9 Season

Paper-thin ‘Chels fold under samurai onslaught

· More pictures from the game · Video from the second half

The Kenchels can now list origami as one of their many skills given the way we folded against the Japanese today. Just one week after a painful 11-1 drubbing at the hands of British Airways, we found ourselves struggling to keep the young samurais (average age four-and-a-half) from making sashimi out of us.

Admittedly, it was a game of two halves with a fine rearguard performance from the ‘Chels in the first half that saw us concede just one goal.

But it was bad news for Newbyone, who realised later that he had played in the half last week when we conceded ten – and the second half this week, when conceded five more! Bad news too for MK Power’s goalkeeping record – he’d been hoping for a clean sheet after Craig’s ordeal last week to keep his stats up.

And so to the match, played under a hot sun and crisp blue sky at the Stadium of Dreams, Chiswick. We lined up with Gav back in the ranks, just back from Oz and raring to go for his ‘testimonial’. Little did he know that the Japanese were also raring to go (although they might have difficulty pronouncing it).

It was pretty clear from kickoff that this was going to be a fairly one-sided affair. While we had a few half-hearted sallies into the Japanese half, we spent most of our time defending grimly. The Japanese moved the ball around well and were lightning fast coming forward.

We defended ably – and for a good 30 minutes or more, we managed to ward off the inevitable. When they finally broke through, it was a neat move that completely wrong-footed us and saw them put a decent finish past MK. One-nil.

At half-time, Stevie B was in a bit of a tizz over our positional play. EP calmed him down eventually – it’s amazing what a shot of valium in a water bottle can do – and we came out for the second half, determined not to chase the ball in their half and to keep our shape at all costs. Our resolve lasted about 30 seconds.

The rest of the game saw the Japanese going forward in increasing numbers, pulling us all over the place and scoring a series of well-taken goals. At the other end, there were a few close calls but we never looked particularly threatening until close to the final whistle, when a Stevie B shot from distance slipped away from the keeper only for John Murph (I think) to hit it wide.

It’s difficult to recall a game in which we’ve had so few real scoring chances – and even against BA last week, we seemed to have more time on the ball.

So next week it’s Bank of England, who’ve been pretty generous to the financial world in recent days. Let’s hope they’re still feeling that way on Sunday, eh?

The boss and Mo reflect on the second half performance

The Japs break through to score their sixth

A Kenchels attack in the second half – rare treat for you

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