2005-6 Season

Kenchels FC 3 Imperial College 2

By Stevie ‘Late Tackles, Late Match reports’ B
It was a cold, miserable day at Marble Hill. We arrived to find that Imperial College had turned up in force, with at least 14 players, most of them looking young and fit – they even brought their own ref with them, so they were looking to turn us over big time.

We were without (regular) DotSven and (not so regular) Greengrazza who were away on Six Nations duty. That was counterbalanced (almost) with the return of WAYNE after a three-week absence. EP seized on this opportunity to keep SteveB as far away from our penalty area as possible, following a verbal request from Craig. We did however have a VIP visitor from the Netherlands, the two-time shooting Mo Omar, available to cheer the ‘Chels on now his second child has been successfully delivered and all that.

Following the “dumping of the football boots” saga the previous week, we were all treated to the sight of some fabulous footware from Alex. £14.95 specials, these boots were made for scoring (well that’s what Alex said) – they were silver and red with red studs – NICE! These boots had goals written all over them (well they would have had we found the black marker pen!).

I recall a conversation I had with EP following the game last week. EP said that in order to win these games, we need to score 3 goals and concede 2 (not the other way around as the result against Raynes Park) – following the result this week, I think he should be nicknamed ESP!

Anyway, to the match. We started in a 3-4-1-2 formation (EP is trying to perfect this I think) with a back three of Wayne, TomT and Terry. Midfield saw flankers GB and Euan alongside Newbod and SteveB in the middle, with Kev playing a supporting to the up front pairing of Alex “Boots” Kirwan and EP. TomB was on the touchline.

The match started brightly for both sides with some end-to-end stuff that saw not many chances made but plenty of goal kicks from both teams. After ten minutes of this, the ‘Chels got into their stride and for the next 25 minutes dominated the match. We made some good chances and forced a number of corners – one of which resulted in a powerful header from KevG going just over the bar. “Boots” Kirwan was through a number of times on goal, but the magic was just not there again this week.

With VIP Mo Omar on the touchline, GB thought he would show off some of the tricks he’s learned from the Amsterdam-based maestro – while we were defending an attack, GB was over on the left (nowhere near the play it should be noted) attempting some spinning. This resulted in GB collapsing in a heap and becoming a spectator for the rest of the game. At this point, TomB came on to replace GB, with Euan switching from right to left.

With around ten minutes to go in the first half, KevG had an altercation with one of the IC boys. As always happens, this caused the ‘Chels to lose concentration, and the next ten minutes saw IC attack our goal and give us some problems. The back three and Craig dealt with this superbly though. The half-time whistle blew with the score standing at 0-0.

The first minute of the second half saw “boots” Kirwan one-on-one with their keeper – he lifted the ball over the IC man with a deft touch, only to see the ball creep past the post and leave us still without a goal. With about 10 minutes gone, IC dispossessed two ‘Chels in quick succession, broke through and scored. The play remained balanced between the two sides, but another ten minutes later IC were through on goal again. Terry challenged but was blatantly pushed off the ball, IC were through and went 2-0 up. The ref was nowhere near the play, so the protests from the ‘chels were ignored.

At this point, IC were in the driving seat and hit the bar with a long-range effort – another goal from IC would almost certainly have killed the game. IC would indeed have scored another if it were not for Craig who came to our rescue for the second week in a row with some superb goalkeeping to keep us in the match. This was the turning point.

‘Chels began to dominate again, forcing a number of corners and throw-ins deep in the IC half. KevG was causing havoc with his long throws from the right. It wasn’t long before one of these was nodded on into the path of an oncoming Rhino (SteveB in disguise) who wallowed in the mud completely missing the ball – however the ball fell to Euan on the edge of the area and with confidence he struck the ball sweetly into the corner of the IC net to bring the ‘chels back into the game at 1-2.

It was time for EP to earn his corn. With us lining up for the restart, EP instructed Newbod to play the holding midfield role, while SteveB should push up and support the front two with KevG. This seemed to do the trick. With about ten minutes to go, IC gave away a free kick 25 yards out, central to the goal. SteveB wrestled the ball from KevG, but the resulting strike was poor – however the keeper let the greasy spinning ball slip through his hands and the ball crossed the line, and the ‘chels were level.

The corners continued to cause problems for IC (EP went close with a deft knock-on from the front post) and the long throws from KevG also continued to cause all sorts of problems. With about five minutes to go, a superb corner from “Boots” Kirwan saw SteveB leap like a cod to score his first ever headed goal – the ‘chels were 3-2 up.

Now it was time for EP to revert the midfield to the starting roles and we held on to secure victory. YEEEEEESSSSSSS!

It should be noted that, when IC were 2-0 up, one of their midfield boys shouted “I’m very happy now, make sure you keep me happy”. I don’t think he would have been happy at the end of the match!

It should also be noted that Alex washed his boots after the game – this was because we couldn’t find a bin!

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