2005-6 Season

Kenchels FC 2 Surbiton Griffins 4

Last we go two up and lose. This week we go two down and…still lose. Somebody up there doesn’t like the Chels. God knows what we have done to deserve this run of defeats.

Did we warm up for too long? Where the balls too hard? Was the grass too long, was the pitch too small, too big? Were the goalposts too close together? Was the drag coefficient of the kit too high? Maybe we should play in spandex.

All these questions are neither here nor there. We lost. Again. Where was EP when we needed him? Where was Jake? Where was Greengrass? Still, at least GB turned up. He looks so good in leather he ought to play in it.

At this point, I should remind everyone that if it wasn’t for the acutely honed mind of Noo-bi-wun, font of all wisdom, none of us would have been playing at all because our original opponents – Old Dorks – had cried off. So this could have been a cancellation. On reflection. that might have been better for everyone’s match stats.

Anyway, let’s cut to the chase. This bunch are a good side and we can’t make mistakes and expect to get away with slapdashedness against teams like this.

We conceded two soft-ish goals early on and were struggling to get back in the game. Both goals pulled us horribly out of position – the first came straight down the middle. Their second, well, I can’t remember that one.

It’s not like we weren’t in it.We had chance after chance at the other end. Tom T hit the post once and our opening goal came out of a great through ball from Tom Bradbury that pinged Alex, who knocked it on to John Murphy – who finished impeccably.

Their third came after a Dot throw-in floundered in midfield and let them straight in the front door. Poor Craig, he was on top of most things but they were carving us up in defence and midfield.

So at half-time, we were 3-1 down. All to do. And we did play a much better second half. We pinged the ball across their goal with stinging regularity but we couldn’t score.

Maybe we were overelaborate. Perhaps just shortsighted. Whatever. We must have had at least half a dozen clear chances. Euan, Gavin, Terry, John Murphy and Alex all had great chances but either missed, hit the post or sailed gloriously wide.

Best of all was Euan’s shot from two feet out which rocketed towards the upper corner, missed and sailed cheerily over the posts of the adjoining rugby goal. If we’d been playing a different game we would have at least got a conversion!

Long and short of it is that while we were trying to get the ball somewhere that near the goal, they were better finishers and scored another two.

Conversation in the bar afterwards was muted but at least Stevie B got the sausage and chips in. We also had a chuckle remembering that Old Salesians – our opponents last week – had nicknamed Alex, Macenroe! I think that one might stick.

Nobody could resist a smile when Alex – aka Macca – said he couldn’t have another drink because he’d miss his train. To be very frank, there’s no doubt he would have missed it after this Sunday’s performance. And Euan would probably have converted it!

One final word of thanks to Tommy Taw who reffed the second half without a pea in his whistle!

The lineup: Craig, Stevie B, Wayne, Tel, GB, Tom T, Gav, Dot, John Murph, Alex. Subs: Euan for GB, Noo-bi-wan for Tommy T. Ref first half, Noo-bi-wan, second half Tommy T.

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