2005-6 Season
Old Salesians 1 Kenchels FC 2
The mighty ‘Chels conceded two goals early on, fought a lacklustre first half but clawed back brilliantly in the second only to see a draw elude them. As Sven himself might have said afterwards: "Dis vas a game ov tew half-es."
This was a remarkable match in many respects.
Firstly, we were lucky to get a side out at all given the numbers of missing, absent and wounded in action.
EP was cruising at 32,000ft back from Jak-a-tarrr, Newb-i-wan was on his annual haggis hunting expedition north of the border, we had no regular keeper available again and Arif was still out after last week’s knock (well, it wasn’t all bad, I guess). Jake, out. Mike P, out. King’s Head Dave, out. Oh yeah, but Stevie B was back – more of that later.
Luis, Brymah and Jaffer – Arif’s mate – got a call-up and all thanks to them for turning out or we would have been in the proverbial.
Secondly, the team was supremely fortunate in having a far-sighted footballing intellect at its helm. Yes, I – the legendary Dotsven – was in charge. And boy, were there going to be some changes…
Brymah took up the Newb-i-wan position in front of Wayne, Stevie B – skipper for the day – was in central midfield alongside Kev and Euan was up front alongside of Alex. And Tommy Taw, Mr Versatility himself, was in goal.
Old Salesians – my old school team, you’ll remember – are a good vets’ side so we didn’t really have to gift them a two-goal lead but that, dear reader, is exactly what we did.
The first came from a corner – which might have been kept in play had I realised it wasn’t going out for a goal kick. I’m at the near post. The ball comes in over me, I hear Stevie shout for it…but he misses and it’s a goal.
About 20 minutes in, they are coming down the middle and Stevie tackles the guy on the edge of the box, handling as he does so. After some protest, the ref awards a free kick (personally, it looked like a penalty). The softest chip in the world sails over our wall and past the flailing Ukelele. Two-nil.
When the half-time whistle blew, I knew there had to be some changes. So I took myself off (cheers all round) and let the lads sort it out among themselves. Haha. Euan dropped into midfield and John Murphy – our goalscoring hero of last week – went up front.
We started well and finally seemed to be putting them under pressure. There weren’t a huge number of chances but we were dominating midfield now, thanks to Brymah, Gavin and Stevie. About 15 minutes in, Wayne went in goal because of his dodgey ankle, freeing Ukelele to go into midfield with Stevie B dropping back.
We scored not long afterwards, following a great run in from the right by Alex and a scorching finish. Game on. We pressed them well and they didn’t look as threatening as they had earlier. Wayne was only forced to make one clearance – a theatrical punch off his line – and the defence looked solid.
Meanwhile, the ref had been taking a bit of verbal from Stevie B – ever since the free kick really – and finally decided he’d had enough and booked him. Next card went to Brymah, also for mouthing off. Wayne also had a pop.
It was tense in the dugout I can tell you – should I take Stevie off before he got sent off? Nooooo, that’s not what the fans wanted…
We had a couple more chances before the final whistle – John Murph had one good chance after Alex set him up but the final shot didn’t have the power. Anyway, that’s how it ended. A dismal defeat that might have been a victory.
The Salesians were not impressed with our repartee on the pitch or our treatment of the ref and told me so afterwards over the sausage butties, with the hint that the fixture may be scrapped unless we sort ourselves out.
That would be sad cos this is a good game which Mr Newman deserves all credit for sourcing. ‘Nuff said.
Next week, we’re at Chiswick for our first home game of the season. Toodle-pip.
The lineup: Ukelele, Terry, Wayne, DotSven, Brymah, Luis, Kev, Stevie B, Tom B, Euan and Alex. Subs: John Murphy for Luis, Jaffer for Dot.
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