2004-5 Season
Kenchels FC 4 NPL 2
A famous general once said perseverance is the route to victory. Sadly, ‘Chels failed to live up to that maxim today. If there ever was a game of two halves, this was most definitely it.
We started well enough, despite a depleted lineup boasting no fewer than four new faces. Gavin, Robin and Andy – one of the new guys – were knocking the ball around nicely. Passing was crisp and clean and we looked dominant.
In defence, Yours Truly, Wayne and Spooner were solid and the opposition really didn’t get a sniff. It was no surprise that Andy – playing in a rather similar way to his body double Alex – scored two early on. By half-time we were 3-0 up.
EP’s cursory pep-talk was light on substance (no change there then) but we didn’t need much guidance – or so we thought.
Almost as soon as the whistle went, they had scored their first.
At this point, something strange came over me. I didn’t seem able to tackle (no change there again then) and rather than stop the opposition, I wanted to dance with them or make them a nice cup of tea. Wayne and Steve were busy baking fairy cakes up by the centre circle and didn’t seem to mind the NPL guys going past them at all.
We weren’t alone in this, half of midfield was engaged in tea-drinking, ironing, putting the rubbish out and small items of DIY. At one point, I knitted someone a scarf. It was really quite lovely and those nice boys from NPL seemed to be enjoying our hospitality.
Suddenly I came back to my senses. I am racing towards goal with only the keeper to beat and the opposition bearing down on me. It’s my best goal-scoring opportunity of the season. I pull my trusty right boot back and let rip.
Sadly I am shooting at the wrong goal. Craig stops the shot – well actually, it was intended as a clearance – but can’t do anything about the NPL striker who picks up the rebound and slots a second goal. The look on Craig’s face said it all. Clearly he didn’t get a nice cuppa like the rest of us.
Anyway, it finished there or thereabouts. I hope someone remembered to wash the crockery for next week. Knit one, pearl two!
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